Domestic Abuse

Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.

This abuse can be, but is not limited to:

• psychological
• physical
• sexual
• financial
• emotional

Controlling behaviour

This is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour

This is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse used to harm, punish, or frighten the victim.

This definition, which is not a legal definition, includes so called 'honour' based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage. Victims are not confined to one gender or ethnic group.

Signs of being a victim of domestic abuse

There may be other explanations for these but signs include:

• feeling afraid around or very anxious about upsetting your partner or family member
• feeling alone and cut off from loved ones
• having low self-esteem and feeling that you don't deserve better
• needing alcohol, anti-depressants or other drugs to cope

These are only some of the signs, there are many more some of which can be found on the Victim Support - Recognising the signs of domestic abuse website.

Where can a victim receive help?

Being the victim of domestic abuse can affect your confidence but it is important to realise that you are not alone or to blame and there are many ways to get help to include;

• Surrey Against Domestic Abuse - can help anyone affected by domestic abuse
• Surrey Police - can investigate all reports of domestic abuse
• North Surrey Domestic Abuse Service is a local advice and support group with significant experience in assisting survivors. They can be contacted on 01932 260690
• www.yoursanctuary.org.uk/ - A Surrey-based organisation who offer sanctuary, support and empowerment to anyone affected by Domestic Abuse. They can be contacted on 01483 776822

If you feel at risk, then try to find a safe place and contact the police on 999.

Useful links

• Victim Support
• Women's Aid
• National Domestic Violence Helpline
• Men's Advice Line
• ManKind
• Respect
• Galop
• NSPCC
• The Hideout
• ChildLine
• Healthy Surrey - change that lasts
• Healthy Surrey - Ribbon